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habibi message - gulabjaman [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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habibi message [Sep. 10th, 2006|11:25 pm]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[music |Glow - Nelly Furtado]

why is this soo difficult for me? i shouldn't need another one to move on. thats a bad habit if i get into that.
i dont understand why i can't get out of this cycle.
i hate this. its frustrating.
i want to be optimistic and think "never know what the future will bring" or some shit like that. but as of right now. i dont know. i want to stop thinking about it. why can't i focus on something else? like school. i want good marks. i want to excel.
but im still sad. im not happy. not all the time. fuck it. i dont know anymore.
what to think? can't i stop thinking for once?
i dont want to be unhappy. i want to be happy. i dont want to be depressed. i dont want to feel sad.